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2013 Ram Quad Cab 1500 a "battle-Tested" Beast.
Are you tired of driving a vehicle that looks like it has never seen a day of real work in its life? You want a truck with immediate, undeniable street cred??? Look no further. Misty is a 2013 Ram 1500 which has 130,000 miles, plenty of life left, and more character than a late-night infomercial. This truck is the "I swear the garage post moved again" edition.
The Good: Mechanically Spoiled: I maintained this truck better than most people maintain their marriages. Kinda don't want to let it go because of its FCA Lifetime MaxCare plan. It's probably the only one left in Alaska but that warranty will not follow the truck after the sale, unlike your ex. Regular oil changes, fresh fluids, and zero mechanical complaints. It runs beautifully aside from a suspected broken manifold bolt on the drivers side manifold. But lets be honest, that's an FCA feature, not a bug. Also, I have a new inner tie rod and outer tie rod for the passenger side. A brand new set of tires will accompany the sale of "Misty" (you see, because its grey in color). Anyway. She pulls like a mule and purrs like a kitten. Its wired ready for aux lights and I'll even throw in the amp and speaker. Rumbles decently enough that you'll need to have a towel under your girlfriend, wife, mistress when she's riding shotgun.
Zombie Apocalypse Ready: Features a brand-new steel front bumper. If a baby moose, a shopping cart, drunk idiot or a minor retaining wall gets in your way, you win...sorta. Either way, you'll dominate the intersection or drive thru lane with Misty.
The Topper: Comes with a color-matched topper. It keeps your tools dry, your dogs contained, or serves as a mobile studio apartment when you inevitably get in trouble at home when your wife sees the credit card bill for the card you swear you "never use". Or for hiding your shame.
The "Character": This truck has survived some..things. It tells a story. Specifically, a story about my sons and his friends depth perception. Rear Bumper: It has seen better days. Consider it a built-in excuse to upgrade to a matching steel rear bumper. Passenger Mirror: Slightly traumatized. It still works, but it has a history and now looks at the world with the exact same existential dread that I do. Driver’s Taillight: Cracked, but functional and it lets people behind you know you are a chaotic risk-taker with nothing left to lose. Driver’s Side Bed: Features a small, custom aerodynamic dimple (Ok, it’s a dent, whatever.). Either way, I think it adds to the aerodynamic efficiency. Easily a gain of 20HP. Get an alignment. It needs one.
Why Am I Selling? I simply don't need a truck anymore. My loss is your gain. It is reliable, paid off, and ready to haul whatever you throw at it from the questionable choices you make a 2 am to the fat girlfriend you won't introduce your friends to. I know what I have (a slightly dinged-up tank). Realistically this is a solid 8k+ dollar truck but since it needs a bit of emotional and physical healing, I have priced it to sell.
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